Well, here goes! This is my first blog post.

Well, here goes!  This is my first blog post.  I’ve put it off for way too long, and if it wasn’t for the encouragement and technical wonder of my good friend Athens, this project might still be a wish in the vapor.  

Actually, that’s really the focus of this first post….things I’ve put off for too long.  At this moment I am two months from my 48^th birthday.  Now, sitting in my office typing this, I am a fat man.  Although I'm not as fat as eight months past when I tipped the scales at 255lbs, I still have a way to go.  That number now feels like a phantom  that hides behind a lamppost as I walk down the street, always behind me, not quite a part of me, but still there somewhere in the shadows. 

I knew I was out of shape as all the signs where there.  Long ago I started wearing my t-shirts outside my pants, embarrassed by the fit of my clothes.  By 2006, I could no longer tie my shoes without holding my breath and had resorted to leaving them loosely tied so I could just slip them on and off.  Whenever I felt bad, I ate more and denied my problem.

I couldn’t breath….my feet hurt so bad I couldn’t walk comfortably, my work was suffering, my relationships were toxic and punishing. Once I even fantasized about committing some crime, enough to get me a year or two in the slammer, so that I could work out all day, restrict my eating and come out free, skinny and in shape.  Instead, I just ate more.  I would feel momentarily better, but was getting sicker.

Then in 2010 the first step toward health and recovery came in the form of true love.  My girlfriend, Eileen, has been my rescue in so many ways, accepting and loving me without judgment.  We had spoken many times about changing my habits.  I wanted to exercise, and had tried the gym, but it was just too painful.  I had told her of my childhood, my teenage years and my love of cycling, but felt I was too big and out of shape to fit on a bicycle.  She quietly encouraged me.  One day she told me of a bicycle that had belonged to her brother ( sadly he had passed away some years before) that I could have if I fixed it up.  It was the beginning of my awakening, a rebirth both physically and personally. 

I fixed that old bicycle with elbow grease, a little paint and a few parts from eBay.  When it was ready, one afternoon eight months ago, I quietly wheeled it out my long gravel driveway to our quiet country road.  I put one foot on a pedal, pushed forward and tried to swing my leg over.  I was not successful nearly landing on my ass.  No one saw me falter, so I erased the fresh memory from my mind and tried again.  This time I got my leg over the cross bar, pushed up and back on to the narrow seat and began to pedal.  I didnt go far.  I couldn't go far.  Maybe 100 yards.  My thighs hurt instantly.  I was breathing hard, but the bike worked perfectly.  I was able to dismount by stopping, leaning the entire bike to one side so I could step off.  It was a crap start, but it was a start.

The next day…I tried again.  A little further this time, still painfully difficult, but I was smiling.  Memories of my youth, of long distance cycling with my best friend, Howard, came back in a moment that was intensely personal.  I had tears in my eyes, but through those tears, somewhere in the future, I could see a healthier me.  Every day since, with few exceptions.  I have bicycled.  The first real milestone, the one mile ride, came in a week.  Then two, miles, then five.  My rear end burned and hurt like I had never experienced, but somehow I just didn’t care.  I was getting a little stronger, a little faster with every outing.  Finally, sometime later, I conquered the 10 mile mark.  Looking back, it seemed at the time so incredibly far, and took so damned long to ride.

As I said, it’s been about 8 months now….maybe a little longer…and things have changed a little.  I have shed 55 lbs.  Although I am still overweight, the difference is life changing.  I have accomplished all of my summer goals, including an 86 mile ride to Mariposa, Ca, including one hell of a hill climb.  I am slimmer, faster and stronger.  With Eileen’s encouragement, I got a new bike, a fancy machine, and was able to pass the old one along to her son, James.  The last 60 days has re-introduced Yoga into my life (also another life changing practice that I had abandoned years before).  My eating habits have changed, although it can still be a struggle, and even though sometimes it feels like it, I have not gained back any weight.  I ride every day that I can.  I go as far as I have time, and since that first 100 yrd attempt  I have totaled over 5000 miles.   

There are many benefits.  First, I just feel great.  My mood and temperament are softer and more even.  Through my experiences so far I have been able to inspire a few others.  Even my dad, a cyclist in his own youth, has climbed back aboard a bicycle and is riding around his own neighborhood. 

The biggest benefit, and perhaps the scariest, has been the awaking of a dream.  As a young man, I had lofty aspirations of riding a bicycle across America.  At my current pace in training and overall health, I am on track to accomplish that goal.  I have committed myself, publically, to bicycling across America in May of 2014.  I am so excited, I can barely stand it.  I want to be clear that this dream would remain only that if not for the love and support of Eileen, whose very smile inspires me to be more than I am, for her, for us.

The purpose of this blog is to share with you the reader, my friends, my story, progress, goals and dreams.  While riding my bicycle, I think more clearly than I have ever done in my entire life.  I intend to use this opportunity to share my thoughts, on whatever subject, and to share my experiences.  You may like some of the things I have to say.  You may not.  I don’t care. What inspires me to write is my love, the open road and hope for a better tomorrow.

Anthony